The Smell Of Cardamom in My Dupatta: 

Sometimes, when I open my cupboard, I catch a faint trace of elaichi (cardamom). The sweet yet spicy and strange scent fills up my nostrils and clings to my very fancy Eid dupatta that I once wore while leaning over the stove to help my mother stir the kheer, a South-Asian sweet pudding  made of soft rice and thickened milk with a perfectly silky, creamy, and slightly grainy texture. It always brings back the nostalgic memories of spending Eid with my family and friends.

In Pakistan, food and fabric are woven into our stories. We don’t just wear clothes, we inherit  fashion. We also don’t just enjoy our traditional food, we become a part of them and pass them on. I  feel like a walking desi archive at times: wearing a cute pink kurta with intricate hand  embroidery stitched on by a local tailor in Lahore’s Anarkali while I hold on to a bar of KitKat, wearing my mother’s old jhumkas (that I borrowed) and baggy high-waisted jeans. On my feet will be a pair of khussas and a small scarf in my bag, just in case I have to walk around the crowded streets, trying to balance and enjoy the cultures of our country all at once.

How can I not mention the bittersweet love-hate relationship I have with my collection of sequined organza dupattas? Especially during the heat while I am preparing chaye for the guests. At wedding functions, we press bangles over henna-stained wrists while trays of jalebi and gulab jamun make their special rounds. During the holy month of Ramadan, the scent of pakoray seeps  into our lawn shirts—even my oldest clothes carry the refreshing and unforgettable smell of Rooh Afza, my favourite drink during the heat. A day before the most important exams, families dance at weddings or spend the night playing ludo.

So maybe this is what diaspora really means.

It is present even within our own homes. It is threaded through all our memories for eternity, even till our hands get wrinkled and we have become future grandmothers and grandfathers.

And for us women, we still keep the sweetness and spice of cardamom alive in our kitchens and in our stoles, no matter what.

Sara Khan is a student balancing her love for STEM and writing. As a literary enthusiast, she enjoys expressing her everyday life through poetry and short prose with some incomplete pieces in her notes app. She loves to read classic literature and contemporary fiction and uses writing as a coping mechanism.